So Happy!

Ahhhh...my bed is calling me. But I wanted to sit here and write first. Life just seems so sweet right now. There are ups and downs, of course... but at this minute my heart is full. I love my husband, that good, strong, wonderful man I married. I couldn't ask for a better partner in this life. And I love my boys! I just feel like if I dwell on this emotion any longer my heart will burst.
Tonight we had dinner with a friend of mine, my roommate while I was in the hospital on bed rest before the twins were born. She had her twin boys 2 days after mine were born. It was interesting watching the boys play together; shy at first (although JD just marched right in and started playing with their toys) and then gradually playing around eachother. Right before we left they finally were playing together, all 4, running around and hollering. It was fun to watch them! I was proud of my boys, proud of the stage they are at and the sweet little men they are.

I am just so happy :D ..... Couldn't ask for more!

Funeral Trip

On Valentine's Day my grandma died, and is now with my grandpa after 30 years of being apart. Yesterday was her funeral, and I drove down with my boys and my brother. It was so nice to see my family and extended family! The funeral was nice too, what I could hear of it.

The church that hosted the funeral had a little room at the back of the chapel, just a walled-in corner really, that was the nursery. There were windows looking into the chapel and it wasn't soundproof, so I could still hear the service, and there were toys. I have to say Thank Goodness for this nursery!! After a couple of hours strapped into car seats, my boys were out for blood and I was able to let them loose to play.

Among the toys was a life-size doll, the same size as my boys. She was sitting on the floor, against the wall, and JD sat down next to her. He held out a toy car to her, and insistently kept holding it out, looking at her, then at me, just wondering why she wouldn't take the toy he was offering!! I had to smile at his attempt at sharing, and tapped the doll, telling him it was not a real girl but a toy. He didn't understand, and after a minute of trying to play with her and getting no response, he got bored and got up, heading off to the toy shelf. My little sweet JD, trying to be nice....

After the service there was a luncheon in the adjoining hall. I did have more help from my parents and brothers, but I was seriously missing my husband in looking after both boys. JD made a few daring escapes by crawling under tables and heading for the buffet. There was a wooden pamphlet stand near where we were seated, and David was content on pulling out pamphlet after pamphlet. Most hit the floor, but he did distribute some of them to his uncles and grandparents. This particular stand had slots and then thin wooden 'bars' to contain the pamphlets, and JD saw a loose one and pulled it out, nail and all!! I fixed it, only to find David had witnessed this and began shaking the other wooden bars to see if they too would pop off. It was cute and all, but I was going slowly crazy....especially when I looked around and saw my cousins' kids, some around the same age as my boys, all sitting nicely and generally not being destructive to the premisis.

I have so many great memories of my Grandma, and I am happy that she is with Grandpa again. One of the things my Grandma and I have in common is...... we both have twins!

Bath, Books and Beyond

There is a four letter word that I won't say around my boys, unless I really mean it. That word is ~ BATH. As soon as this word is mentioned, David and JD rush to the bathroom door (which I have to keep closed due to situations involving tiny hands and the toilet) and bang on the door. I really have to be careful, and only say that word if I intend on giving them a bath at that minute! Otherwise it's a whole dramatic situation involving alot of attempted misdirection on my part and alot of blatant disregard for the misdirection on their part.
One day while the boys were playing, I accidentally started singing that bath song that Ernie (Sesame Street) used to sing....you know, that "rubber duckie, you're the one! You make bathtime so much fun..." song ??? Well I started singing that and the boys of course raced to the bathroom door and proceeded to bang on the door... not a good situation and there was crying involved. They are tough little boys too!! When they bang on the door it sounds like there is a sledgehammer doing the work!

Another thing I cannot joke about, can only say if it's true, is "Daddy's home!". If I say this and he isn't actually home (sometimes the neighbors car sounds like ours), they will go excitedly looking for Daddy and be terribly disappointed if he doesn't turn up. It's a whole dramatic scene. They love it when Dad is home and JD is starting to cry when Dad leaves the house. The other day, Daddy when into the washroom and shut the door, and David burst into tears!
It is so cute how much they love Daddy. Of course they still love Mommy, when it's snack time or if one has a toy stolen by the other one. :) This actually works out great because I have time now. I started a course called "Writing for Children and Teenagers", and when my hubby is on days off I have time to work on it during the day. With the boys so independant (more or less) now, I have much more time than I used to. It's so nice! I can work on my course, read, or clean (though that takes more finesse, since the boys love to help).... I just have more freedom to get things done. Since they love to play with Daddy I use that to my advantage too!

On the downside of this independance....they can get into much more stuff. The boys can open the oven door (thank goodness it has a lock for when I'm baking). JD was hanging on the handle one day, with David beside him, and BANG!! The door came down on top of both their heads. They can also open the dishwasher too... and have figured out that pushing the buttons produces results. David stopped a load of dishes from getting washed by pushing the pause button.
While I have more time to get things done, I also seem to have less time because I have to follow them around when the boys are in their investigative moods.

It's all fun though and I love this stage they are in. What a great age!! Just out of babydom but not yet into the Terrible Twos. Love it!

No More Thoughts

I have decided to change my blog a little; it will be from now on only family stuff. Not that it was a forum for diverse topics previously....but the stress of trying to come up with interesting things to say was getting to me. Maybe you could tell by my ever-increasing MIA periods. I read so many interesting blogs, and wish I could create something as fascinating. But the fact remains that the main reason I started this was for my family, all of whom don't regularly see us, to keep up with the boys' progress and pictures. So since I'm having such a hard time posting interesting thoughts from the deep recesses of my mind, I shall stick to what I enjoy best, which is talking about my family.
Anyone who knows me or even just stumbles upon this blog is still welcome to read, and even follow. If they choose! It might not be interesting (if it ever was) to those not eager to hear of my boys.


Okay, enough of this rambling. Today seemed to be a very hectic day ~ and we didn't do anything! I should have bundled the boys up and dragged them outside to enjoy the sunshine, but alas I shrank from that exhertion. We stayed indoors all day.
David is almost running. He motors around the house at a fast pace....the sort of pace that's more than walking but not quite coordinated enough to be considered jogging.... at any rate, he is getting fast and more sure of his footing every day. So is JD. The down side of this is they don't look where they are going, and we've had more than a few head-crashing-into-table episodes. Luckily, none that resulted in stitches, let alone a mere cut. They have pretty thick heads!

They are trying harder each day to repeat words/phrases we say. Among them are Peek-a-boo, bye-bye, Diesel Enough! . I didn't realize they were doing this until just the other day because the sounds that come out don't really resemble what I say.... it took me awhile to clue in that that was indeed what they were doing. Copying Mom. It is so cute!

I guess that's it for now...it's past my bed time, he he he

Enjoy the new family-focused blog, I know I will!

Lil' Helpers

I am learning all sorts of things these days. For instance, letting go. When I clean I like to do things specifically my way. I always sweep the same way, always prepare dishes for the dishwasher the same way. Very methodical procedures with me.

The letting go comes in here; now my boys want to 'help' me clean. If they see me sweeping, they come for the broom and dustpan. Often fighting over the two, David will end up with the broom and JD follows with the pan, ready to collect the dust and dog hair David has 'swept' around. Now one might think, how great, they are learning to help clean! And indeed, on the outside I am smiling and cheering them on, coaxing them to continue until the whole floor has been 'swept'.

On the inside, however, I am FREAKING OUT!!!! This is my internal dialogue with myself while they are sweeping: 'no, DON'T spread it around!!! Don't you DARE touch that pile of dog hair, it's gross. Use the broom! USE THE BROOM!! You missed a corner....actually you missed that whole section of floor. Wait, DON'T SPREAD IT AROUND!! SWEEP! SWEEP!!!!!!'

I really can't handle them doing this; I am getting a crash course in letting things go. Not sweating the small stuff. Seriously, the floor can be swept after they go down for their nap, and I want them to learn about cleaning the house. But it's hard for me! The first time they helped it was awful, until I decided to just let them at it. Second time was okay, and every time it gets easier for me.

Today I had a breakthrough..... I didn't freak out inside while they swept. One small step toward a personal victory! But I did resweep after they lost interest. I had to.

Steps and Play-dough

We have been having so much fun lately, the boys and I. They are learning how to work the stairs, and are doing quite well.

I made play-dough last week and the kids loved it! Suprisingly, no one tried to eat it the first time. The second time, they tasted the salty dough, and didn't like it.

The boys haven't figured out exactly how to create with the play-dough, but have fun squishing it!

Since these two have learned how to navigate stairs, it has opened up a whole new level of freedom. Not only for them, but now I am not 'stuck' downstairs, or upstairs, wherever they happen to be playing. If I have to run upstairs for something, I don't have to worry... besides, they usually follow me. It adds another floor to our hide 'n seek game too! I really think the boys love the freedom to explore a greater surface area.

The other day I brought the vacuum downstairs, and David saw it. It's new, so they haven't really seen it before.... anyway, David looked at it and then disappeared. I thought, strange, there's NO WAY he would not be curious about a new appliance. A minute later, he reappeared with JD!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! JD was around the corner and I didn't hear any babbling, no verbal communication of any kind! So it leaves me to wonder, how did David send the message to 'come here, there's something new to play with' ??????? It was so adorable, I almost cried. But laughed instead.

These two just keep suprising me and filling me with joy. I love them so much!!!

Now that we are into February, I am very excited about spring around the corner. Okay, around a BIG corner, but still.....I am looking forward to it!! The boys will love playing outside and discovering new territory. We won't be stuck inside all the time, which will be wonderful!

Same Old Stuff

Yesterday I received a forward in my inbox; the questionnaire kind that we all receive many versions of. In this one, there was the typical question ~ what scares you the most? ~ to which I usually answer 'clowns'. Clowns do terrify me, for reasons unknown to me at this time (and will probably remain unknown until I move on from this life and it all becomes clear). Unless maybe I undergo hypnosis and the story comes out that way. I don't know.

For some reason, while clowns do terrify me, I answered this question with 'my kids not living long, fulfilling, happy lives'. I sat at the screen and wondered where that came from. Then I realized that while the thought of a clown in my personal space causes me to hyperventilate and a cold sweat to come over my body, my eyes searching for a way to escape.... I am totally terrified of my kids not living long, full lives. What mother/parent isn't??? As I look at my beautiful sons with wonder, adoration and love, the possibility that they may not doesn't even cross my mind. Or so I thought.

I then thought ahead to all that awaits my boys. First day of school. First best friend. First fall off the bike. Then skip ahead to all the other firsts that come later on in their lives. Oh, I love these boys so much!! I don't know how to do this. Then I realize this is another fear of mine; not knowing how to parent older boys and deal with all the world will throw at them. This scares me. I guess I'll take it day by day, like I do now. What else can I do? Day by day it is then.

After pondering this for a bit, I realized something important. I am over-thinking this. I over-think alot of stuff, and worry in circles until I am certain they are coming for me. For now I will keep the terror of clowns, and everything else that strikes fear in me. The list isn't long, but it is interesting. At least to me. I won't dwell on the future, just do my very best today. That's all I can do. That, and be thankful for everything I have.

Cuties Update

David was shut out of the playroom when his brother closed the door! Poor guy...

Playing with the MANY toys!

Balloon!! Or as David says.."baba!"

Yummy munchies!

"look how cute I am!!"

What's new with my two??? They are CLIMBING MACHINES!!! Luckily we don't have any furniture that is high, so their climbing is limited. But I did have to lower their high chairs to the floor after David climbed to the top, with one foot on the arm rest and one knee on the top (of the back) of the chair. He also tries to climb onto the window sill from the chair. How many times have I had my heart thrust up into my throat, lungs empty of breath as I let these two explore??? They can't see the dangers that I can so they are fearless.

JD climbs too, on anything he can. I want a book shelf, badly, but I can see JD and David scaling it. To the top. And so I will wait until they are a little older, and more interested in climbing trees than furniture. There are indoor playgrounds with climbing walls, and soon I will take these two on an adventure there. I'm certain they will love it!!

David likes to be held alot, a not-so-new development that has increased in frequency. It's like he takes a break from playtime to come over and request a hug. So sweet, even if the frequency of it gets to me some times. JD likes to be held when he is tired, closer to bed time. When he is ready to sleep, that is when he likes the comfort of Mom's arms around him.

Yesterday I separated the sectional and placed a blanket over the opening, to create a tent. The boys loved it!! They crawled in, and I went to hide. David and JD would come looking for me, and once I was found I would chase them back into the tent. The boys were laughing and squealing the whole time, loving every minute of it. It was so much fun to get on the floor and play with my guys.

Today, David brought me the blanket and proceeded to the place where the sectional comes together, trying to push it apart. I guess I made my bed with that one!!!!!

So Sorry

I am so confuzed right now. I guess I figured most people want honesty, and of course we are all entitled to our own opinions. I have lost some dear friends in my lifetime because I gave my honest opinion of whatever current situation there was at the time. This confuzes me because if I wasn't a real friend, wouldn't I just state whatever was expected of one to say in agreement?? Isn't a true friend someone who can honestly state their own opinion, aside from the friendship?

Perhaps I am WAY off base though. Maybe it was and is a question of tact, and concern for others' feelings that I should have given heed to. Perhaps stating an honest opinion isn't what is always needed, but consideration for the others' position. It is possible to disagree and remain friends.

With that said, I want to sincerely apologize to my friend. I was trying to give an honest opinion, but now realize it wasn't what was needed. I lost sight of the emotions conveyed while I was given to the shock of the chosen words. Reading over my comment I can see it as accusatory now. I, however, do NOT accuse my friend of something that aweful. I know she is not!! I understand where you are coming from, and I can appreciate your position on this. Please accept my apology.

Random thoughts of a Saturday

I couldn't sleep very well last night...my mind just wouldn't turn off. Here are some random thoughts that kept me up and occupied my mind this morning too.

~will the snow ever melt? I know it's only January, but for the first time ever I am already turning my mind to spring. I'm ready for tulups, grass, birds and warm rain.

~is David's mean streak something I need to seriously worry about? Or will it pass? When told "no" or having something taken from him, he will hit himself. Recently he has started hitting others as well. I don't know how to deal with this...

~next week. Tests for a loved one and the results could be drastic. Do I have the strength to help others through a rough time? While dealing with my own heartache? Do I have what it takes? For that matter, what am I made of? No wait, that is a dangerous worry; one should never wonder what they are made of. There's only one way to find out.

~weight loss. I need to shape up!! Just quit whining about it already and DO SOMETHING about it! For me that is the hardest part. But with two active boys who will be running this summer, let's face it. I need to be able to run. Fast.

~Cultivating family relationships. I miss my family! I definately need to make more of an effort to see them.

~heat vents.....I wonder if there is a special adhesive for these covers. They are giving me an eye twitch!! Well, not the covers, the amount of times I have to replace them after the boys remove them. I place the cover over the vent, deeply hoping that an object hasn't been carefully stashed away down there in the minute the cover was off. I don't want to permanently fix them, for cleaning reasons, but any kind of tape is out. The boys peel it and eat it.

~nutrition. Please eat little babies, please eat!! I worry so much with this picky eating, dumping on the floor phase. Articles read that I'm not supposed to overcompensate with milk because they won't be hungry next mealtime. But HELLO!! Their little bellies need SOMETHING!!!! So does my sanity. I need to know they are not hungry. You know, there really SHOULD be a manual for motherhood!!!!

There are many more, which details I shall spare you, and the circle just keeps going round. For now, a hot shower and housework. Later, friends!