Thursday, December 11, 2008

Youth

I have never really felt my age... I usually feel like I am still in my late-teens, early twenties. This feeling about myself brings on the shock when I see actual teens and young adults; I think to myself "but they are BABIES!!!" and "did I look that young??" . How can it be? How can time do that to us, where inside we feel young, vibrant and as though a day hasn't gone by since the world was at our feet? In another decade or so, will I still feel young, and look at people in their late-twenties, early thirties and think "but they are just BABIES!!" ??????

Giving birth to my boys did a number on my body; I have aches and pains where I didn't before, my joints are incredibly stiff after sitting for any length of time (which is embarrassing while trying to get out of the car after a short trip). I probably look like an old woman affected by arthrytis most of the time!! But in my heart, I am young. I am a fresh, myself-against-the-world, ready-for-anything young adult. Part of me loves that I feel that way!! But the rest of me is, because I feel that way, taken aback when reality comes crashing to a halt in front of me and my body insists on reminding me of all it's been through, for all these years.

I realize I am still young; please don't leave a comment for me saying that I am still young and what am I complaining for? Because if that is what you take from this post, then it wasn't communicated effectively.

Time is a funny thing. When I actually was young, the school year was F O R E V E R!!!!! Summer was short. I remember playing all day outside, to be a touch frustrated when that call came "SUPPER'S READY!!!", reluctant to leave that game of tag, touch-football or hide-and-seek to go in and eat. Then once the food was shovelled in, rushing right back out and playing until dark. Now, the days go by so fast. It is already nearly Christmas, and another year will begin. Where does the time go? I still feel like that young adult and the years are flying by at a rapid rate. "SLOW DOWN!!!" I want to shout at the top of my lungs. Just slow down and let me catch up!!

I don't feel I change, yet I look at loved ones all around me. My parents, my aunts and uncles; time seems to have caught up with them. They don't look how I remember them looking when I was young. Is that how I look to nieces and nephews?? Where does time go?? Where?

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