Happy Happy Happy!

I can't believe how much I have accomplished in the last 2 days! Usually I put off the cleaning - not general tidying but actual cleaning - until my boys are asleep or off with Daddy. Well, let me be honest; when the boys are asleep I don't feel like lifting even my pinky! Are you kidding?! So needless to say the work piles up and causes me much embarrassment and stress.



However, yesterday I just started DOING it, and so much got done! It was awesome! I cleaned the whole upstairs, organizing toys and vacuuming, then cleaning the carpets. Now when I walk up the stairs instead of swallowing a giant guilt pill, I breathe in, exhale, all with an enormous smile on my face. It feels so good!



These bursts of energy don't go unnoticed though; the day before yesterday I attacked a huge laundry pile and in return my boys spread cottage cheese all over our couches and livingroom floor. Yesterday, while overhauling the upstairs, mushrooms were scattered haphazardly through the main floor and an onion died on the floor in front of our fridge. I do consider this destruction minor compared to the work I have done, though. Silly boys! Sometimes I wonder if I had only one 2 and a half year old, would such sneaky acts happen? Then I wonder, if I had MORE than 2 boys, perhaps older and wiser boys, what on earth would THEY come up with??? Hmmmmmm......



Today I have done more laundry and organized my room, where piles of books and clothes have grown at alarming rates. I swear to myself I will keep up with all this, so in the future it won't be such a huge project!! In the past, though, I have sworn the same thing. :))))

I LOVE A CLEAN HOUSE!!!! YAY!!!!

Change and Family

Grandpa and Grandma Surry came for a visit today!! Yay! We had a great time even for such a short visit. David and JD were a little shy at first, but overcame it quickly and had fun. Soon their Grandma & Grandpa will be moving 'to the mountains', as the boys say. We will miss having them so close after they move to BC!

Speaking of change, my parents will be leaving soon on their mission. They will be heading to Nauvoo the second their visas come in. Grandpa and Grandma Haynes seem very excited for this adventure, and I am excited for them. What a wonderful experience!

I cannot believe how fast the days fly. I don't really notice how much has changed until I read our family journal, or my personal journal. Then I realize just how much has happened in such a short period of time. Remember when you were young and summer seemed to last for ever?? Now the two months zip by in the wink of an eye! There doesn't ever seem to be enough hours in a day or days in a week to get everything accomplished.
Thinking of this, and of the boys grandparents leaving, moving - leaves me with a renewed goal to get together with extended family more often. I want my boys to know their grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, which they won't if they only see them once a year. Last year my New Year's resolution was to see my family more - and I did it; I loved it. I miss my far-away family so much! Now even more of our family will be 'far away'. It makes me sad! So I shall make another resolution to see our far-away relations --- for the boys, and for myself. I love you all!!

Garden Spot

SO we finally did it! My husband, boys and I put in a little garden. It's tiny, very tiny, but it's awesome and we had a great time doing it. So much hard work though... we outlined the plot, then peeled back the grass like sod, dug up the earth and mixed in topsoil. Now we have 6 potato hills (or they will be hills, hopefully!), a small row of carrots, a small row of cucumber, and three small rows of peas. One more row to go, as yet undecided on what to plant. I love it!! The boys had a great time helping and planting... it was a wonderful family project. Fingers crossed we did it right and that eventually we will get to reap the rewards!!


****Pictures to come

This is not me. This person sitting here at the computer, listening to her children getting into Daddy's tools and creating new uses for them, is not me.

I am carefree, independant, wealthy and happy. I am someone who never loses their temper at the kids. I have a perfectly spotless home, smelling of fresh flowers and delicious dinner that will be ready at precisely the moment my husband walks through the door. I enjoy reading, writing, and I never ever yell at my dog. I do not have an eye twitch. Under no circumstances do I feel a crushing weight in my chest when I feel I cannot take another minute, because I never ever feel like I cannot take another minute. Everything I need is in exactly the spot I need it so I can always find it. I always have a stocked pantry and freezer because I am well organized and ahead of the needs of my family. I most certainly am not the woman sitting here, with hardly any food in the house and a headache from telling the kids repeatedly to not play with the printer. I am not this girl, who feels like she is the only girl on the planet to not have it all together. I am not this person sitting here, typing this, on the verge of tears because for the 4th time this week everything is coming apart at the seams, feeling like a failure as a mother yet again. I'm not her.


I don't know who she is.

Heroes

Hero seems to be the theme of my life the past few days. First of all, I have been reading for the 4th time 'In the Company of Heroes' by Michael Durant. If you haven't heard of this book then google it or something, check out your local Coles or library. It is an amazing true story about survival in Somalia... if you have seen Blackhawk Down then you already have the background for this book. Michael Durant is the pilot of the second blackhawk to be shot down; he was the one who, after being savagely beaten by the mob, was carried off and held captive. An amazing story!!!!! I love it. My husband bought it for me shortly after we watched Blackhawk Down.


Yesterday while grocery shopping with my crew we came into contact with some heroes of the local variety. My usual grocery store was packed which forced me to park far from the doors, which was ok. I saw a fire truck so I parked near it, knowing my boys LOVE fire trucks and firemen, and anything to do with them. After our shopping was complete and I had David in the car, the firefighters returned to their rig and I pointed them out to JD. He gaped at them in awe while they smiled and waved at my little guy. One fireman even retrieved a fire safety mag from the truck, the ones they give out at schools and such, and gave it to JD. I asked for a second book, pleading 'twin brother in the car' and was graciously given one. With a final goodbye these firefighters jumped in the truck and drove away, all with four little eager eyes watching. It totally made my day to see my boys so excited and happy about seeing a real firetruck and firefighters, up close and personal. Thank you to these heroes who took a minute out of their busy day to make my sons happy!!


Finally, the last brush with heroes comes from my own family. This morning I made a batch of muffins and put them in the oven. Being a mother and homemaker, my mind was immediately drawn to other tasks needing to be done, and I raced upstairs to my room to organize a couple of laundry piles. I completely forgot my muffins in the oven!!!! Which is so crazy because anyone who knows me well knows how much I love muffins and I count the minutes until they are done. Well this time I forgot and was planning out my day while sorting laundry. I could hear my boys chattering outside the door and didn't really pay attention.... HEY it happens. Suddenly JD's words broke through my thoughts and I realized with a panic what he was saying!! "DON'T GO TO THE BASEMENT MOMMY, THE MUFFINS ARE DONE!!" I gasped and opened my door; sure enough I could hear the oven timer and the smell of muffins had swept through the house. I hugged my boy hard and thanked him over and over for being such a good boy and letting me know the muffins were done. His smile made my day. I ran downstairs and they were luckily not burned, just done perfect. Thanks to my son, the hero of the day!!!

What is this again???

My first post of the year!! Finally. I have missed this creative outlet. Time may be harder to find for this than for my hand-written journals, but only because our computer is in an unfinished basement that we do not allow our boys to frequent.

Things are rolling so fast! Our boys talk my ears off and I love it, most of the time. JD has developed - in tone and in choice of words - a rudeness that escapes at any given time. Since I am the primary care giver around nearly 24/7, I can only believe he acquired this from me. YIKES!!!!! David is still a sweet little guy, but watches his brother closely and learns all he can from him. I give it 2 months, 3 at the outside, before sweet little angelic David picks up his younger brothers' attitude changes.

Most of the time these two are very loving, very active and excited little men who are an absolute joy to mother.

Spring is coming!! Perhaps this time it will arrive for REAL, instead of more snow and chilly days more attributed to late autumn.

Well my boys have abandoned Diego for this frigid basement where the allure of Daddy's tools is impossible to resist so I must drag them back upstairs to the land of the living. I hope that with this long absence I may get some readers again.... I will try my utmost to post regularly, if only for my sister-in-law. :) LOVE YOU ALL!

Letting Go

One thing I have learned in my short stint as a mother is to roll with it and not be uptight. Not such an easy thing for me in some areas; I like my cupboards organized and when I reach in for something, I want to find it. I prefer toys to stay in certain areas, throw pillows to stay put, and my own timetable to be kept. Ha. That rarely, if EVER, happens in a household with kids. So I have learned to be more relaxed in certain areas. Not to say it's easy, ohhhhh no. It is far from easy. But I have learned to roll with it. When I find a toy truck in the vegetable crisper, when I reach for a mixing bowl and instead pull out a cake pan with a shoe in it... I am learning to roll with it.
One day is full of twists and turns, as it is for anyone. I don't think that in my entire existance I have experienced such twists and turns in a day, until I became a mother. I go from aggitation over my clean livingroom transforming to ultra-cluttered toy factory in under 5 minutes straight into elation at the sight of my sons sharing a toy and remembering to say "please" and "thankyou". I head from frustration at cheerios being scattered for the 6th - yes, SIXTH - time right to pure relief at realizing the apple juice has made it back to the fridge without a drop spilled. Oh yes, I am learning to roll with it. When JD asks me "what are you doing?".... even though I feel at the end of my rope if he were to ask me what I am doing one. more. time. .... I am still able to feel the wonder at how far they have come in two years. Growing so fast and speaking in sentences now, even if only Dad & I understand what they are saying.

Learning to roll with things as they happen has enabled me to enjoy the moments of joy that come so often during the day. Stressing over the inconsequential things causes one to miss those beautiful minutes. Tonight right in the middle of many 'freak out' moments that I am learning to roll with, that song "Live Like You Were Dyin'" came on the radio. I turned it up and to my suprise, the boys stopped mid-whirlwind to dance with me. The three of us danced the entire song in the kitchen, and my soul sang with joy. I realized if I had a timestamp and was living like I was dying, I would do exactly that - dance in the kitchen with my boys.
Perhaps to someone who has it all together and is calm, patient and was born with the ability to roll with it, this would all sound rather lame. I, however, don't have it all together, do not possess a natural calm and patience, and tend to get wound up if things do not go according to plan. I don't know how a 'professional' would define my mental makeup, but I have certain things that help the world around me to make sense and if they aren't in order then I unhinge alittle. Things like the silverware in the proper slots and stacked neatly. There could be dirty laundry all over the house, but if the freshly washed, neatly folded piles are tipped over I lose it. Just alittle. Things like that. Toddlers are perfect little engines for destroying laundry piles and shuffling silverware. All of this said, I am learning to roll with it, and am finding out that though it isn't easy, it is for sure well worth it. For in letting go of moments of frustration and anxiety, I have found and enjoy so many more moments of happiness.

This Time of Year

I am behind on so many posts that I won't even try to catch up. Instead, I'll take the easy way out and start from here. Today as I sit at my computer our pre-winter snow is melting, melting over the garden hose still out, the lawnmower still yet to be bled of gas and oil, the stroller though folded up still dripping with melting precipitation. I feel we were cheated out of fall, my most favorite time of year. Where are the deep azure skies? The golden leaves crunching under foot? The crisp, fresh need-a-sweater-but-not-a-coat air?? I hope with the snow gone and the temperature rising slightly, we may still have a chance at autumn.

After our wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and my husbands days off, we are back to a normal schedule today. I embrace the norm today. Normal routines are good. I enjoy having my husband at home on days off, which for us lucky people are 6 days in a row. With his schedule of 8 on, 6 off, we enjoy almost a full week of Daddy home. The boys love it, and so do I.

Yes, normal is good. The fall norm for us involves Dad's pool night every wednesday, when his team fight to rise to the top of their league. Good luck Dad!! We are behind you 100%. Also come a few birthdays - Auntie Shannon, Grandma Cindy and Great-Grandpa Dave have birthdays at the end of October. Then Grandma Haynes in November. Halloween, of course, one of my favorite nights of the year. Jon and I always carve pumpkins and watch scary movies together, but with our own little pumpkins getting older that particular tradition we'll have to alter. The boys will want to be in on the carving, and of course trick-or-treating! We have their costumes -- David will be a lion and JD will be a tiger.

I really love this time of year. So many fun things going on, and wonderful people to share them with.

Crazy Twins

I am sitting here at the computer, wanting to post on my blog because I'm long overdue, yet nothing is coming to mind. I am blank. These days leave me weary, bone-tired and braindead. When people were handing out advice while I was pregnant, why didn't someone warn me about days like this with toddlers? It seems more accurate to say 'summers' like this. The past 3 months have left me exhausted.

Before I get carried away in my complaining, I must say that I feel blessed. After all, I have two very healthy, very active little boys. I cannot believe how fast they learn, grow, and change. A couple of days ago I heard the first sentence uttered; it was JD talking to David, and he said "DD, doe to weevee, hit." Which translates in english to "David, go to the TV, hit". JD had a potato peeler in his hand, which he gave to David; David promptly walked down the hall and started smacking the TV with the peeler.

After that incident, I started paying more attention to their interaction and realized something about my boys: JD is bossy! He is often found ordering David around, to which orders David willingly complies. I have been blind; I had no idea this was going on until a couple of days ago!! Actually, I've noticed David listens to JD more than he listens to me. Or should I say, he is more obedient to JD than to me.
So the questions remain: how do I coax David out of his dependance on JD, and how do I help JD understand he needs to let David govern his own self?? On top of that, how do I get David to do what I say when JD is contradicting me? AHHHHHH!!!

Hopefully someone out there reading this post will have answers for me... I would appreciate anything you can give me!
I really am blessed though, I just need to remind myself of that more often sometimes. Even though I'm tired, I love those two little guys more than I thought was possible.

Train Birthday

Summer is almost over and my favorite season is approaching. Also approaching is the boys' 2nd birthday! As I plan the party my mind drifts back 2 years, when I was in the hospital on bedrest. Sitting in my bed, looking out the window, I marked the passing days by the change in the color of leaves, then watching them fall, more and more falling each day.
While the time in bed was slow, the past 2 years have sped by. The boys talk more and more each day, which thrills us. They are growing so fast! For their party I am planning a train theme, which they love; 'choo choo train' is one of their favorite things. I shall attempt making a train engine cake, attached to a small sheet cake with their names, candles, and "happy birthday" on it, which will also be attached to a train caboose cake. I also plan to gather a collection of cardboard boxes of various sizes, which I will decorate to be a train for the backyard; I think the boys will love to play in it.
This is so much fun, planning birthdays. I only have a few more before they will have their own ideas for the party they want, and I plan to get the most enjoyment possible out of the experience. I can already imagine the look of excitement and thrill on their faces when they look outside and see a train, just their size, that they can play in!! I will have to capture that on camera for sure.
Bringing my ideas to fruit will be my focus for the next few weeks and I can't wait to get started. :)