I am learning all sorts of things these days. For instance, letting go. When I clean I like to do things specifically my way. I always sweep the same way, always prepare dishes for the dishwasher the same way. Very methodical procedures with me.
The letting go comes in here; now my boys want to 'help' me clean. If they see me sweeping, they come for the broom and dustpan. Often fighting over the two, David will end up with the broom and JD follows with the pan, ready to collect the dust and dog hair David has 'swept' around. Now one might think, how great, they are learning to help clean! And indeed, on the outside I am smiling and cheering them on, coaxing them to continue until the whole floor has been 'swept'.
On the inside, however, I am FREAKING OUT!!!! This is my internal dialogue with myself while they are sweeping: 'no, DON'T spread it around!!! Don't you DARE touch that pile of dog hair, it's gross. Use the broom! USE THE BROOM!! You missed a corner....actually you missed that whole section of floor. Wait, DON'T SPREAD IT AROUND!! SWEEP! SWEEP!!!!!!'
I really can't handle them doing this; I am getting a crash course in letting things go. Not sweating the small stuff. Seriously, the floor can be swept after they go down for their nap, and I want them to learn about cleaning the house. But it's hard for me! The first time they helped it was awful, until I decided to just let them at it. Second time was okay, and every time it gets easier for me.
Today I had a breakthrough..... I didn't freak out inside while they swept. One small step toward a personal victory! But I did resweep after they lost interest. I had to.