Useless Information

     I have heard other women say that on the rare occasion they make a trip to the grocery store without kids in tow they slowly go through each aisle, meandering through the goods, enjoying the quiet and peace.  For some reason, which totally surprised me, I am the opposite;  I become a champion speed walker.  I know what I am there for, I know the exact floor plan and which aisle holds which item on my list.  (For some unexplainable reason when the boys are with me I can never find anything on the aisle I think I remember it housed on the previous trip..)  I speed walk from my car, expertly maneuver the displays, find my groceries in record time, check out, and make quick tracks to my car.  And I absolutely LOVE that I can do it so fast once in a while!

My Boys and I

My little guys seem so BIG lately!  JD used the word ‘perhaps’ last night. 

They just seem so tall, so smart.

Concepts they are catching on to now are changing their minds (David calls it “changing up my mind”), and being right/wrong.  I made the mistake of admitting I was wrong the other day after JD insisted he completed a job I asked him to do.  I didn’t think there had been enough time for him to get it done, but he showed me it was done, and I actually said “I’m sorry, I was wrong.  Good job!”.  Now with everything, it’s “you were wrong mommy and I was right”. 

 

My guys :)

 

       They are growing so fast, my boys actually made their own breakfast omelete the other day.  I am having so much fun with these sweeties.  Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows…they are boys and boys fight.  Alot!  But still, there are moments they are quick to forgive, quick to apologize, and quick to back eachother up. 

Me and David

 

JD and I

 

I am growing too.  I have things I am learning…like letting them pour their own cereal, instead of doing it myself to save a mess.  The look of pride on their faces when they do it themselves is priceless!!  And what’s a mess anyway?  Like my Dad said all the time when I was little…”what difference will it make 100 years from now?”

 

 

They are growing so fast, and now I am really wanting another baby!   Well, that feeling comes and goes.  I’m pretty happy with my guys  :)

 

Two Treasures

     There is a place on the SAIT campus that I love;  a gentle slope scattered with trees and in autumn there is a blanket of colorful leaves on the ground.  If you sit in a certain spot the trees open up and BOOM! there is downtown Calgary in the near distance.  The golden trees, sun glinting off glass buildings, the river winding like a ribbon... it's breathtaking.  I used to sit and soak it all up.... my breath would just get knocked out of my chest! 

     Coasting down Whyte Ave there is a bridge crossing a ravine.  In the winter at night,  if you are brave enough (or if you aren't driving!) the second you start across the bridge look to your right and you will see an amazing view of downtown Edmonton.  The snow glistening in the city lights, the colorful trees on the Telus building, the snow-globe beauty of winter in the city all come together for a remarkable sight.  The best part about this incredibly beautiful view is it's gone in 15 seconds!  Blah city streets, then WOWZA LOOK AT THAT!!!!, then it is just gone, in the blink of an eye. 

     Someday after my photography class I shall take a very expensive camera and capture these images, and treasure them forever. 
      

Save me, Save me Now!

 

       I think I might be dying.  Not literally, just… a part of me.  You see, a couple of days ago my sons brought home some booklets for their fundraiser.  Being as how they are in a community preschool, we have a lot of volunteering to do as well as fundraising.  The fundraiser is… drum roll please…  Purdy’s Chocolates!  That’s right.  I have two beautiful, detailed booklets packed full of gorgeous chocolaty treats sitting on my counter. 

       Hedge hogs, almond bark, mint melties – it’s all there.  Page after page of decadent treat… and I want it ALL!!  The Sweet Georgia Browns stare at me.  The English Toffee whispers my name and the little foil Santa winks every time our eyes meet.  Like I said, I think I might be dying. 

       It’s almost painful, staring at these glossy magazines.  I am definitely putting an order in!  A small one, but still.  Gotta get me some peppermint bark, and maybe splurge on some toffee.  And a small box of assorted chocolates.  And…  aww  crap.  I’m in trouble. 

 

 

Mmmmmmm!  I love chocolates!!

I could eat it all!  My favorites are chocolate-covered caramels, Mmmm mmmm mmmmmm!

       David is a little salesman!  It’s so cute.  On the phone with his Grandpa Ron he says “we have chocolates, would you like to buy some?”.  He is so adorable, and a charmer, if we went door-to-door David would clean house. 

       After this fundraising program is over, I am throwing away the booklets!!  I have to!  I am trying to lose weight and get fit and healthy, and staring at these things is NOT the way to go!  Maybe it would be better if I just throw them away now, and cut a check for the preschool.  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  No crunchy bark taunting me, no creamy chocolate beckoning me.  OR I can just keep staring, dream, and order a little somethin’ somethin’ for myself! 

      

    *** If anyone is interested in buying some chocolates, just give me a call.  (if you don’t have my number you can msg my fb)  Prices range from $10 - $50 and up.  We need to have orders in by mid-November, and I pick up the orders Dec. 4th.*** 

This is Sooo Weird – take 2

 

   I am writing this post on Windows Live Writer.  Never done it before, just messing around on my computer, trying to figure things out.  This feature is sooo weird!  I had a whole post typed out, then pushed the wrong button and it was gone.  Note to self:  WLW does not save every minute like Blogger does!

     I am the least technologically-savvy person you ever met.  For example, not only do I not have a smart phone – I don’t have any type of cell phone!  That’s right.  If I’m out grocery shopping and I forget an ingredient needed and have to call Jon, I have to use a pay phone.  Or my personal favorite, just guess!  I can always go back.  I would rather make two trips to the store than drive around crazily looking for a freakin’ PAY PHONE!!  And then be seen using said phone.  SO embarrassing! 

      Cell phones look cool though – every person and their dog seems to have one, and text all day long.  I would like one, just because they are cute little accessories and I would like to look important while I’m out somewhere.  So important that someone couldn’t wait until tomorrow to tell me something, so they texted me right then and there! 

      I have the basics: email, facebook, google search and this blog.  I don’t know anything about configuring, or writing code, or creating a website.  I don’t have a cool little phone that can do a million things, and I don’t have an ap for that.  Somehow I get by though!  Maybe the first step to becoming technologically advanced (or just up to speed with everyone else…) is using Windows  Live Writer to post on my blog!  I feel like such a big girl already :)

The Twins are Four?!

David and JD chose a Superhero theme for their birthday this year.  I was hoping for a Firefighter theme, with a possible tour of a fire station, but nope - they knew what they wanted!  Besides, it's not MY party, but theirs...
    

Waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive!!!

Big Smiles!

Face paiting is always fun!  The boys are Spider Man and Iron Man.... and the girls wanted to be princesses, of course! 

 I was brave and let David and one of the guests paint my face.  It was fun for them, and I especially like my pale red mustache.  As you can see, the boys have only girl friends.  That will hopefully change now that they are in preschool!  Not that I don't love these little sweeties, they are great kids.  But, you know. 

Can't believe we forgot to take a picture of the cake before cutting!  At least you get the idea.  I opted for an ice cream cake instead of making two seperate cakes.  Less stress!

YUMMY!

And present time.  After presents everyone played outside until dark.  The boys had a great day, and it was lots of fun for me to plan and execute.  So hard to believe the twins are 4!!

Blessings

Early this morning cries pulled me reluctantly away from the thick blanket of sleep.  As I shifted to get out of bed I found David, curled in a tight ball at my back, looking so peaceful.  I can't imagine many things sweeter than a childs' sleep face.  I didn't even wake him as I crawled sluggishly around him to the edge of the bed. 

JD was sitting on the bunk bed stairs, crying his little lungs out.  He had a bad dream, he informed me.  As I picked him up I knew the real reason for his cries;  he woke from a bad dream to find himself alone in the room, his brother gone. 

As I calmed my little guy down my thoughts were split between little arms squeezing me tight and my pillow, the warmth of my blankets and the nice, deep sleep I had been enjoying.  Such a nice sleep doesn't come every night... often I have trouble getting to sleep and when I do, tossing and turning keep me near the surface.  So this was, like, feather bed in a five-star suite kind of sleep.

Then I thought of that Kraft slices commercial.  The mom making the grilled cheese for her little boy, then the grown teenage kid making the grilled cheese for the mom.  That one always makes me tear up!!  Not kidding.  It strikes some emotional chord inside me, every time.  It makes me sad.

Mixing in my head with the grilled cheese was a clip from the news yesterday...the mother of that little boy recently returned home.  Little Kienan's mom was speaking of the nights her son was gone, stating that they didn't sleep.  She and her husband split themselves between their children and stayed with them all night.  I would do the same.  How lucky, how blessed they are!!  How many parents are out there who didn't get their little one back?  Who for years, YEARS, are searching, praying, keeping in touch with the investigators, conducting their own investigation, staring at every stranger who might have the same coloring, or hair, thinking "that would be what (fill in name) would look like now"...  I couldn't even imagine a horror like that.   

I just squeezed JD harder, feeling his little arms around me, little arms that feel bigger than yesterday (another growth spurt?!  seriously, the kids hands are huge).  I hugged my little JD and thought of my little David all curled up in my bed, his sweet face at peace in deep sleep.  How lucky, how blessed I am!, I thought while tucking both boys back into their beds.  An extra two or three hugs each (which David was still asleep for, he didn't wake up at all, even through transport), an extra smell of their hair, an extra kiss. 

When I finally crawled back into bed, wriggling down into covers a half-hour before my husbands' alarm, I couldn't sleep!!  Where was the feather bed in the five-star resort? ?  So tired, yet couldn't drift off.

I am so lucky, though.  Blessed.

Missing Memory Card

  I have been searching high and low for a memory card or two.  My own memory leaves me to believe we have used 3 in the life of our Handicam.  I could only find one, the one in the machine.  While searching (I hope I find them so I can print off a ton of pictures and mail them to our families!!) I found a card.  It was larger than the cards I was looking for.  A mystery!!  I pushed it into my eReader and then hooked my reader up to our laptop and found..........

David

David

BABYPICTURES!!!!   I had found the memory card for our old digital camera!!  Couldn't believe it.  It wasn't loaded, and the pictures on it I do have a version of on my blog already, but there are some I had totally forgotten about, some of my favorite facial expressions. 

JD

JD

Looking back, it's hard to remember my boys being this small.  Then I see a picture and so much comes back to me.   

My sweeties

I am so glad I found this card!!  But seriously, where are the others? ?  There are specific pictures I want from them!!

Summer Pics

This summer is almost over.  I picked a few of my favorite pictures to share with you (sadly our camping pictures aren't up; I uploaded them from the camera but for some reason, it didn't work.  Will keep trying!).  Fun in the sun, fun with friends, and the PARK were major themes for our summer.  The boys had some great times!

         The boys with their buddy!  Little monkeys, the three of them.

The boys were so excited to find a fire hydrant at the spray park, being as how they love all things firefighter!!

This next picture is one of my favorites of the three rugrats, who have been together and photographed since they were babies.

These pictures are on facebook, and if you have seen them sorry for the repetition.  That is our summer wrap-up!  We kept it pretty close to home;  next summer I hope to amp it up with cook-outs, day trips, and more time with extended family!!

Simple Things

         I was reading in the Nov. 2010 issue of Shape that in order to be happier we need to 'Savor the Simple Things' (pg. 31 - Shape Your Life section cover page).  Instead of only celebrating the big things (i.e. promotions, reaching weight goals, etc) we need to enjoy little moments that count as well. 

        Of course there was a study done, one of those pointless studies that confirm for scientists what us common folk already know.  This particular study (in Psychological Science) found that the more a person earned, the less they savor the small things (such as a piece of chocolate).  This is believed to be because with more money to enjoy, the little things just aren't as important. 

That said, here is my list of some of the Simple Things I Savor....

*a brand new box (or jug) of Tide - I enjoy doing laundry for my family (it's dishes I hate to do) and opening a new box is thrilling

*a fresh, clean notebook.  Pens.  Pencils.  Pretty much all school supplies. 

*fireplaces.  I don't currently live in a home with a fireplace, but that's my favorite place to be on a winter evening, with hot chocolate and a book.

*driving through the mountains

*the evening of the last day 'on' for my husband - it's usually a movie rental night, w/popcorn and staying up late since he's off the next few days

*the smell of a bakery (this is from my childhood, my mom & I walking past the bakery to go to the Merc - to this day when I smell a bakery I am suddenly a little girl again walking with my mom)

*autumn leaves

*the feeling of elation when a party I've planned goes off without a hitch and is enjoyed by all

*MUSIC!!!!!  All kinds, from my kids' lullaby CD to a piano protege to Green Day's latest

*Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year

*dancing and singing in the kitchen while I make supper (I am a rock star and nobody knows!)


Now I have my list, so according to scientists... should I come into a pile of money I will still be happy, since I savor the little things.  How about you?  What makes your list?

Kindness Spree

In our neighborhood there has been a serious rash of toy giveaways.  I'm not sure what happened; this used to be such a quiet neighborhood, very safe.  Now this recent toy-dropping leads me to suspect we have some pretty great neighbors. 

For some reason my boys have been the 'victims' in this spree.  First a small quad was given, then two large (albeit broken, but the boys don't care) remote-control quads.  I started to worry then, what was going on?  Do we look like a needy family?  I know my wardrobe is in desperate need of an updating, but come on. 

The most recent toy to suddenly appear in my yard was a big ride-on loader, like those jeeps at Toys R Us.  Pedal-powered and awesome, my boys couldn't believe their eyes.  I asked their friends why it was dropped off and they named a family down the street... this family has 5 kids, the youngest being twin girls about 9 months old.  As I saw the oldest boy in this family return to our yard, a.k.a. scene of the crime, I pulled him aside and asked what the deal was.  He told me they had been trying to sell the loader on Kijiji for quite awhile with no luck, and that they decided to just give it to the boys.  I asked how much they wanted for it, and this young man said "oh, nothing at all".  I couldn't believe my ears.  I suspect this family will be hit with a sudden rash of baking! 

What is this world coming to?  Just when you think no one gives a damn about anyone else, something like this happens. 

See Yah Summer

Ahhhh summer is nearly over.  Thank goodness!  I know most everyone loves summer,  the endless days filled with friends, food and activities.  Me.... I love the two or three weeks of vacation when we escape the city and spend time in the mountains of BC.  I don't mind the hot weather when we are camping, boating, fishing, etc.  But back in the city baking in the heat and the snacking mosquitoes is not my cup of tea.  I prefer autumn, which is no secret to those who know me. 

This summer we did in fact escape to BC.  My sons went fishing for the first time as we stayed in a cabin my father-in-law rented for the fam.  I gave my arms a workout in a rowboat for the first time since girls camp.  My husband took me for an amazingly private quad ride on a beautiful mountainside trail (not private like THAT, you sicko es!).  I was able to spend some great time with my husbands' family.  It was awesome.  Then we had to come home. 

And now, waiting for autumn.  In a few weeks the boys will be starting preschool - can hardly believe it!  PRESCHOOL already.  I may or may not cry when I drop them off the first time... I promise to try and reign it in.  After a talk with JD about preschool and all the fun they will have, all they will learn, and the friends they can make, JD looked at me with big eyes and said "will you be there?".  Awwwww!   I explained that mommies don't get to go to preschool and he was upset, but only until I mentioned the fun and toys again. 

Also in a few weeks the twins turn 4.  I am having a great time planning the party (let's face it - in a few short years this fun job will be taken out of my hands).  They have decided on a Superhero theme - awesome!  After a detailed drawing of the cakes they wanted, much humming and hawing, and a cost estimate of the whole party... I have decided to instead purchase a single ice cream cake with the faces of both Spider Man and Iron Man on it.  Grrrrr!!!  Creating cake masterpieces is a skill I want to develop, and I enjoy it immensely, but I think this is the best way to go this year.  I can almost hear some of you thinking "geez, it's only a preschoolers birthday party, not a state dinner!". 

At some point this fall I would love to make it down south to see my family.  I haven't seen them since spring.  It saddens me that if I want to see my family I have to be the one to do the traveling.  Or the phoning.  Or the emailing.  I SO wish we were closer!  Not just geographically but ... just closer.  The pick-up-the-phone-just-to-chat kind of closer.  And more than once every few months.  Man, am I complaining, or what?!?!  Sorry guys.  The blog is called 'Thoughts and Stuff'... 

Yes, I can't wait for the heat to go.  When the temp hovers around 12 degrees Celsius, I'll be happier than a hippo in a muddy wallow!!  Who's with me? ?  And what did you do this summer?

New Stage

I'm not sure where I've been, but sometime during the past month my boys have grown up. Still my little men, yet things have changed.
The first big change was cutting pullups at night. A few weeks ago David and JD still needed Underjams overnight. One evening at bedtime I discovered we had used the last one and SOMEONE (okay, it was me) forgot to buy more. Instead of rushing to the store we decided to try gaunchies for bed and to my pleasant surprise the beds were dry in the morning, and have remained dry since! No more diapers to buy and it feels wonderful!
The second big change is a new friend. David and JD have made friends with a seven year old girl who lives on our block. Not a big deal, but their first friend they've made on their own, not simply thrown together because the parents are good buddies. I still feel strange when she rings the doorbell asking "Can David and JD come out and play?". Part of me is thrilled, while the other part feels confused. Are we really There now? Already?
Awww, it's all good though. My little Sunshines are branching out in their preschool world.

Cookie Monster

         Two huge brown eyes are fixed on me right now.  Attached to these warm eyes is an incredibly cute fuzzy black face.  That's right, it's my dog, Diesel.  He is staring at me with unbreakable concentration as I pretend to ignore him and type this post.  The reason for his vigil?  I am keeping a cookie safe for my son while he pretends to build a car that will fight a tornado with eyes.  I'm not exactly sure why the cookie is involved or why JD wouldn't just eat the thing, but here I am, keeper of a decadent treat that is currently my dogs sole purpose for living. 
      Diesel sits, wags his tail, moves his little eyebrows up and down.. little attempts to get my attention while I continue to pretend I don't see him.  If I should look his way he will undoubtedly look away and pretend he couldn't care less that I have a sugar cookie with pink icing bathed in sprinkles sitting beside me on the table.  I never believe this ruse;  the moment I turn away or get up, even for a second, that cookie will be gone, hoovered in a heartbeat. 
     When this does not work according to Diesels' master plan, his second attempt is what I like to call 'Best Friends Forever'.  He will come and lay at my feet, or even ON my feet, arranging himself into his most cuddly self.  He will then put his chin on my leg and give me this look that seems to say "I would do absolutely anything in the world for you".  Then he closes his eyes, feigning sleep.  Adorable, right?  Yeah, don't trust it for a second.  The minute I let my guard down that adorable sleeping BFF is going to snatch that cookie right out from under my nose.  Diesel has now moved to this phase and is snoozing at my feet.
      The final attempt in what my dog could only think of as 'Operation Acquire Cookie' is the old 'I'm Starving' fake-out.  Diesel starts to pant and look pained, as though he hasn't eaten for days.  I swear, he appears as though he is on the brink of starvation and that cookie is the only thing that will save him.  Diesel is a master of illusions.  I love that dog.  I wouldn't doubt he has more tricks up his fur, the only reason this is the final attempt is because I usually have had enough by now.  I tell whichever boy has me guarding his cookie "if you don't eat this now I'm giving it to Diesel!"  That works.
      I have seen dogs bark, jump up on their owners, whine and beg for food or treats that the humans are enjoying.  I am very happy that my dog doesn't do those things.  He has a more creative way for begging, using his assets as best he can, which usually puts a smile on my face. 
    
       On a side note, the car is finished.  If anyone is interested in a vehicle that can defeat tornadoes with scary eyes (includes fire hose for putting out fires), let me know.  There are a few kinks to iron out but it may be on the market as early as 2032. 
    

One Moment

I hate that one moment...that final moment of blissful ignorance that precedes the world crumbling. I was sitting here tonight, thinking about our political parties and what they stand for (am I the only one who doesn't know whom they will vote for the night before the vote??) while someone I love was being rushed to the hospital, in pain and alone. Now that I know, I look back on that moment before the phone rang with bile in my throat.

Jons' grandpa, who has always been like my own, is in the hospital tonight in emergency surgery. I wish I could be there by his side, so he could have someone with him who loves him. I wish I could tell him I love him, and to stay strong!! To pull through the surgery because he has made it through so much in his life, he can't let this little thing get him down! To pull through because I'm not ready to let him go yet.

So many things running through my head, like why didn't we make it out last year to refinish grandpa's deck? Or to go fishing? How could we let life get in the way of being with those we love?? If this surgery goes well we have another chance to spend time together...to tell this wonderfully cantankerous old man how much he means to me....to let my boys get to know their Great-Grandfather.

Come on Grandpa Dave!! I'm thinking of you, praying for you, as I know others are.

Political parties?!?! SERIOUSLY! I think I'm gonna throw up.

Earrrrly Walk

I finally did it; I actually rolled out of bed at six am and took a brisk walk. I want to run but need to work up to it, so to start out it's power walking for me.

It was beautiful; crisp, clean air, birdsong, and the distant roar of traffic - a sound I actually enjoy. I was alone on the path for the first 15 min, which was a plus!

When eventually I had to share the walking path, it was with a young man walking his dog. As we passed eachother he checked me out!! I almost tripped over my laces in surprise. This man looked me in the eye and said "Good morning!", then very obviously oggled the girls! I couldn't help my internal laughter, and I thought to myself "boy will he get a surprise if he sticks around for my leave, cuz this ass ain't small!"

Hopefully my large behind will get smaller, if I can keep up a walk and workout plan I've set up for myself. Sticking to it is the hardest part for me; I really enjoy working out and morning walks but getting into a routine and keeping it are so tough for me.

Today though, today I did it. And loved it. Apparently I still got 'it' too! Sweet. Great start on what's bound to be a great day!

Desperate to Ride

David and JD really, REALLY wanted to ride their bikes today.  Since we had a spring snowstorm yesterday, there was work to be done first.  The boys and I shoveled our walk and that of two of our neighbors... us being the slackers on the block, I guess.  Everyone else had shoveled theirs, except for a small patch six houses down........   Instead of making that their turn-around point, JD insisted on clearing it.

                   Can you see them waaaaaay down there?!

         Working away, JD wouldn't give up.  Before the snow, that grey box was their turn-around point, so he wouldn't leave it alone.  He wanted to get every inch of their allowed track snow-free.

                 David to the rescue with Dad's shovel!!!  "I'm coming, JD!!"

                    Crazy boys.  But it is nice to see them working together. 

My Men

Ahhhh men.  I am surrounded by men all the time.  Normally a woman wouldn't complain, especially when they are the best-looking men around!

These three are my favorite men in the world.  My happy little family. 

I love them to bits.  But I gotta say ...  thank goodness for nail polish, bubble baths and chick flicks!!! 

Goodbye Rockstar

       Well Rockstar moved out.  (Sniff, sniff.)  My neighbor and her family packed up and took off... something about wanting to be closer to work. Crazy.  I think of her as Rockstar because she is so beautiful and when she wears her sunglasses she looks like just that, a rockstar. 

       This is a woman who looks exactly right (not sure what that means, but you know these women)... has a megawatt smile, and always seems to have it together.  With a four-year-old boy and a newborn son, a career, night classes at the college, and a home to run I don't know how she could always be in a good mood, but she was.  Not one of those crazy, hyper, had-too-many-Red Bulls people but...  just right. 

        How does Rockstar do it?  How do people who look exactly right, act exactly right, and seem awfully perfect pull it off?  Are they human?  Do they have flesh and blood bodies or are they robot prototypes thrown here with the rest of us to push us harder?  To show us what we could be if we just try harder?  If we just put a little more effort in?  It worked on me, that's for sure... every time Rockstar and I exchanged friendly words about kids, weather, and life in general, I would look at her and want to be better.  Not her, but a better, more pleasant, more fit version of myself.  And looking at her this seemed ...  doable.  If she can do it, so can I, right?

        Well she's gone.  Whether she was a real woman or a robot I will miss her.  I like to think I'll still push myself toward improvement, because  well, that's just a lifelong pursuit.  But with Rockstar gone it will not be the same. Goodbye for now, you fabulous woman, you.  

      

        









       

One Good Read

         "I'm not David, I'm Spider Man."  This phrase is heard alot around our house these days.  My son puts on Jon's winter gloves and suddenly transforms into a super hero, or a contractor (Handy Manny), or a fire fighter (which he still calls 'fighter fighters', and I love it).  These black gloves are magical gloves that when worn transform him into anyone he chooses to be.  Other than himself.  Heaven forbid we forget which character he is currently playing;  a frustrated David corrects us first before answering whatever question we had put to him. 

    When I look at my boys my heart swells with joy and love, and I just want to crush them to me in a gigantic hug.  I think of preschool in September and try not to think of all the hurts, physical and emotional, that are bound to come their way in the school years.  Sometimes I dwell too much on all the world can do to hurt them, make them feel inadequate, scare them... I've confessed my choking fears to my husband and he responded "well we can't keep them in a bubble for the rest of their lives".  Which is true.  I almost thought I needed to see a professional about this 'problem', until while organizing my mountain of books I found one I hadn't read yet.  I picked it up, and started to read;  almost immediately my irrational fears came to rest. 

     The book is called "Understanding your Divine Nature", by Grant Von Harrison.  It is amazing!  I would strongly recommend this book to anyone!  One of my problems I think was that I am very possessive, so to speak, of my sons... I have wanted children for so long and now I look at them and they are so perfect, so wonderful, that I don't want anything bad to ever happen to my kids, my precious babies.  Sound familiar?  Well the first chapter of this book is about our premortal existance, and from page one things were put into perspective for me... eternal perspective.  While I still don't want anything bad to happen to my precious babies, I am not consumed by the fear of all the horrible possibilities.  I look at them and my heart still swells with joy and love, but I also have in mind their divine nature and know that there is One who loves them every bit as much as I do, probably infinately more...

      David isn't wearing the gloves right now, but he is pretending to be a radio show host.  Sitting right beside me while I type, he just said "I have a very special grown up with me today.... it's Mommy... " and pushed his makeshift mic toward me.  How I love this boys' imagination!! And how I love enjoying these moments without suffocating from the fear of the ugly possibilities.

        If you haven't read this book, do.  Go out and buy it, read it, and mark it up.  What a great reference to add to your collection. Even if you aren't a crazy lady like me the book is wonderful.  I would keep plugging this literary work but I must run, I get to be a special guest on a radio show!!!


          **'Understanding your Divine Nature' by Grant Von Harrison is a sequel to 'Drawing on the Powers of Heaven', by same author   (I haven't read this book but plan to track it down!   'Understanding...' was a given to me to read while I was in the hospital on bed rest 3 years ago, which I didn't until now)

A Keeper

Great-Grandpa Dave and the boys

How Does He Do It?

         This morning I couldn't get back to sleep after my husband left for work.  Benefits of waking up before my kids.... a long, hot, uninterrupted shower.  Ahhhhhh.  Getting dressed without someone banging on the door, shouting "MOM,  MOMMY,  MOMMEEEEE, Where is my Lightning McQueen??" which really translates to "Mom how dare you take personal time when I need you!" 

         I'll try to remember this relaxing start to the day when at 3:30 PM I am about to crash from exhaustion as a result of getting up at five-freakin-o'clock!  I seriously don't know how my husband does it;  he gets up so early, works a twelve-hr shift, comes home and still has energy to play indoor hockey with our sons, tease them, have tickle wars with them, and then watch the game, have supper, run backup for me as I try to get the boys down at bedtime, then go back out to the store if there's something I've forgotten. 

          On the few mornings (VERY few) that I can't get back to sleep and end up starting my day as early as my husband starts his, my afternoons suck. I can't nap... for some reason my body just feels sick post-nap.  My stomach is queezy, I just feel yech!  So I power through the day and usually have a grumpy, grumbly afternoon. 

          I don't know, maybe Jon has an hour between lunch and supper that just drags and he feels horribly tired and cranky.  Most of the time when he gets home it doesn't show, though.  He is some kind of amazing energy-conserver, with a pack on stand-by for when his boys want to play. 

          As for me, I'll be falling asleep at 8:30 tonight, as soon as the boys go to bed.  Probably with a smile on my face, as usual when I snuggle down under the covers and relish my sleeeeeeep!
          

Things of Beauty

     Christmas is long over, the magic of that season lost in the whiteout. Life is back to normal, visiting family escaped back to the shelter of their lives, and decorations once again claiming space in the jungle that is our basement.  Spring is still only a dream, flowers sleeping off the boredom and only a select few brave birds serenade.  Someone save me!!  


      Since January is my least favorite month, I have decided to fend off winter craziness by looking for beauty in the blah.  For instance, patches of blue sky after 2 solid weeks of grey overcast glumness.  Beautiful!  Wind blown snow from the roof that sparkles in the street lights... definately beautiful, and makes me think of pixie dust.  Snow cap toppers on fence posts that the wind has carved and shaved until they resemble whip cream dollops.  Okay, maybe not beautiful, but interesting to look at!  The smiles on my sons' faces as they glide down the hill on their saucer sleds.  Absolutely beautiful!! 


     In case my readers think this is enough to beat the insanity, I assure you it isn't and I have other plans.  Swimming, for starters;  waterslides and friends, then pizza afterward-- what could be better in January?  (For those stuck here without the luxury of trips to warmer climates, I mean.)  Then there is always the barbecue, sitting out there so lonely...  simply dust the snow off and throw the steaks on.  The smell alone is beauty.   I also have in the planning folder of my brain a Girlfriends Mexican Night. Mmmmm, enchiladas! That may just have to wait. February will definately need some help.. 


     

    

Primetime Blues

I used to be a huge fan of 'reality' television. When Survivor came out I didn't miss an episode. The Amazing Race, Big Brother - even the first Bachelor, were all on my Must Not Miss list. (Ok, so Big Brother still is.)

Ten years later I cannot believe how overrun my digital guide is with so-called reality television! Dance shows, talent searches, reno and decorating catastrophies, vying for love lies, even just total smut like Jersey Shore!! I mean, COME ON!!! It's all just blah, blah, blah - the bullet train to Dullsville. I'm so done with it!

This dreary winter I will break out of the blues. I will instead soak up the beautiful scenery and excitement found in Hawaii 5-0. I will laugh my ass off at How I Met Your Mother reruns. I will even let the occasional tear escape for victims in Criminal Minds. (Yes, I can be an overemotional loser)

I may be found peeking in on Survivorman, though, because you just never know... that info could come in handy.