Friday, September 12, 2008

Life As We Know It

All of my life I have heard people say "your life changes when you have a baby!" When I heard this, I would think to myself, "well of course! What did you expect?". I think I understand now what they were referring to. This is a statement born of shock. The shock that says 'this is my life now??' . When people say "your life changes when you have a baby" what they are referring to is their own life...the changes that have shaken up their own experience on this earth and turned it into something completely foreign. These people feel the shock of this still and feel they must warn everyone. I don't think they mean it as a bad change, I just think they want people to realize it for what it is: an extremely sudden go-to-bed-in-Canada-wake-up-in-Australia kind of change.
I think back over my life before kids, and while there were some exciting experiences I find myself loving this change. Shocking as it was, and still is at times, it really is great. For us the fact we were expecting was blown out of the water by the fact of how many we were expecting. We were only trying for one, and I can still remember the exact moment we were told we would be getting two. Now THAT is shock!! The days that followed were a blur; Jon said very often and in a very bewildered tone "TWO babies!!! TWO!!!!" Somehow we managed our shock and embraced this change in our lives. We became a family overnight. Not to say it's only a major change if you have two; believe me, adjusting to one would be a definate change as well.
All of this talk of change causes me to wonder how on earth single parents do it. I am a firm believer in the family unit. A father and a mother working together as a team to teach, love, protect and comfort their children is a beautiful thing! Anyone finding themselves as sole parent to their children and taking on that role with all of their might and strength...well hats off to that person. I couldn't do it, nor could I imagine doing it; there have been many times in the past year I have leaned on my husband for support and strength. I think if anyone was worthy of stating that "having a baby changes your life!", the single parent would be the only one. Because instead of it being a ridiculously obvious statement, it becomes a wise admission of reality from one who puts every part of themself to work for someone else, and has completely left their needs and wants behind with their old life.
I am loving this change of course in my life, and am grateful to my husband for taking this road with me. To all of you with children: isn't it wonderful!!! That we learn as much as they do on a daily basis.... To all of you without children: PLEASE SLEEP IN FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And enjoy it. Because it's possible that someday you will suddenly find yourself on a different course, and you will find yourself wanting to tell YOUR single friends..."having a baby changes your life!"

3 comments:

Michelle said...

If I ever have more than one baby at a time, Ryan and I think it would be fun to keep it quiet until the delivery. Imagine how much fun it would be to day "We had a baby! And another one!!" I laugh everytime I think about it and it kind of makes me want to have twins. But then my sanity comes back, and I think one baby at a time will be plenty.

chantal said...

I love twins. I want twins. Motherhood is so worth everything. I haven't slept through the night,slept in,eaten dinner quitely while sitting down the whole time,or had a day all to myself in 13 years...but every second is entirely worth it to me.My kids were sick on sunday so chris stayed home with them and I went to church alone.and I found myself looking for them after primary. then I realized the reason I couldn't find them was because they were at home!!! Not to mention the awkwardness during sacrament meeting. With no kids to shush I felt lost!!! Life does change completely with kids!!! but it all comes natural so for those who are afraid of your life being turned upside down...well, it will, but it will natural.

SongbirdMama said...

Awwww, Karen. This made me smile. I love hearing a mother's love for her children. Even through written word, your adoration for your babies shines through. That's just awesome. I'm so happy for you.