Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Basics of Being a Mother...or a Person

I have a big problem. Well, to me it is a big problem. To the world...I don't think it would rate up there with world hunger and war crimes. However in my tiny corner of the world, it is very real and very big. I need a zipper. If not a zipper, a miracle. I need to unzip my skin and step into something alittle thicker. You see, after all these years I am still an incredibly shy person. I cannot just start up a conversation with anyone; I can talk comfortably if engaged in conversation, and once in a while I can continue a discussion...but if no one makes the first move, I will just sit there uncomfortably for the duration. The problem??? I have kids now. My boys need socialization; they need to get together with other kids and learn how to play fair, share, and all the other good stuff that comes from being around other children. That, and I don't want them to end up painfully shy like me. There is a play group in my town that I have been to once, and if it weren't for my friend I would've just sat like a bump on a log. I don't know how she does it...she will just start talking to anyone. And because of it she has friends all over. This shyness and fear of opening up to people has me boycotting the playgroup that my sons would benefit from tremendously. How selfish of me!! But I just don't know what to do. I have tried to open up and just talk...but I freeze. I can't think of anything to say to start a conversation. This is day one stuff, the basics of being a person in society. I should be able to talk to other people!! Take school for example; when my boys are in school I will have parent-teacher meetings, mommy-helper days, game days, etc. where generally parents talk to eachother. Normal people talk, it's natural. What's wrong with me!! I need to kick this shyness to the curb now or it will rule me forever.

1 comment:

SongbirdMama said...

Karen, girl.....you don't give yourself enough credit. If you hadn't made the first move, and reached out to me in high school, we may have never been friends. YOU were the one that took the first step back then, and I"m so glad you did. Because I was the same way in high school. Passive wallflower who didn't put myself out there. And especially us being next door neighbors. I considered you one of my BFFs back then.

The thing you have to remember is that you are an incredibly remarkable woman. You are a thoughtful and loyal friend and people would be blessed to know you. A lot of times, that isn't going to happen unless YOU make the first move.

And honestly,the only way it gets easier is to start. Scout out a mom at playgroup that has a child the same age as the boys, or find a playgroup specifically for parents of twins. That right there gives you something in common, and something to talk about.

OK, so now my "comment" has turned into a novel. Sorry, but seriously, the world will be missing out on a wonderful woman if you don't at least try putting yourself out there.